Third Times the Charm
First and foremost I am SO sorry for how long it’s taken me to finally post again, but I assure you the wait was well worth it. After the past three weeks I not only have a much brighter outlook on life but also a wealth of writing to share with you.
This first piece entitled “Part-time Passion” is a compilation of multiple entries from my journal that were all written in the past couple days and are all inspired by my sense of being suspended between graduating and ‘growing up’.
It may seem overly basic but the basis of being a writer is writing – so I intend to write, a lot, and also share as much of it with you as possible.
Here’s to hoping that reading this is both beneficial and enjoyable for you – enjoy!
There comes a time after you’ve been continually suppressing something when that thing swells up so strongly in you that ignoring it is impossible. I’ll call it crashing into the tip of the iceberg; that monumental moment when what was once out of sight and out of mind is now staring straight at you. It is then that you not only have to detect it before it sneaks up on you but also deal with it before it becomes too big to be fixed. If you don’t deal with discontent then slowly but surely you become complacent and consequently conform to a reality you once despised.
As I sit at the same table where I wrote the majority of my college essays, staring out the same window – at the same buildings, I begin to feel as though my life has been somewhat stagnant. Asking questions like – what good was graduating if I’m still sitting in the same spot? That’s when my brain begins to zoom out and see myself within the framework of the ‘big picture’. It’s a sort of existential epiphany created by contemplating where it is you’ve gone in life and what you ultimately want out of it.
When analyzing all this you must measure your aspirations against your reality. And after doing so I found that most of my days are almost entirely filled with things that I have to do in order to satisfy the costs of my real world responsibilities. I justify my job by saying that “the rent wont pay itself” and while that may be a fact it’s ultimately just a stupid saying that has enabled my precious days to dwindle away as moments and months pass me by. It’s been almost seven months since I graduated and what has my degree or the knowledge I acquired while earning it actually accomplished? My diploma sits atop a dusty dresser back home and my knowledge has been applied to the Pita Pit, where my job has anchored me to a routine and a reality that simultaneously sucks and doesn’t pay well.
Yet these feelings of frustration are actually what allowed me to finally deal with my discontent. Just a couple days ago I crashed into the tip of my own iceberg and rather than sinking or flailing for help I reacted by making the most of a seemingly shitty situation and finally deciding to do something different with my life.
It seems that this is the part of my story where I say something along the lines of “quitting my job was the best decision I ever made”. It’s this particular point in time when I acknowledge the source of my unhappiness and aspire to a life where happiness is simply a side affect of my day-to-day actions. And after only a weekend of getting a glimpse into the life I’d love to have as a music journalist I’ve decided to drop everything else and commit to making my aspirations match my reality. And as one of my favorite childhood books put it – if you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll want to come inside, and when you give an artist a glimpse of their potential path in life, he’ll give everything he has to follow it into the future.
It’s been all consuming ever since I got that glimpse, and after realizing the plethora of possibilities that it presents me with I want nothing more than to make it materialize. Mixing music, travel and my own creative expression is the ideal way for me to live my life. Writing is what I was destine to do long before I ever spoke or submitted my first essay. It is integral to who I am and the way that I express my emotions and experiences. And when your passion is innate and insatiable the only barrier between turning an idea into an actuality is yourself – primarily your perspective and the ability to generate good out of bad. In fact if you truly think that way then there is no such thing as ‘bad’ only a useless label that blinds you of any positive potential in someone or something. When we stop seeing the world like that everything becomes beneficial, or to put it poetically – we can somehow see sunshine in the darkest of days.
Optimism creates it’s own luck and it’s infectious to anyone around you. How can you see someone smile without immediately and impulsively wanting to smile yourself? This contagiousness created by positive people turns out to be the best part because it not only enhances your own joy but also gives anyone around you their own reason to smile. And as long as you perpetuate positivity and always move forward in the direction of what makes you happy – you will no longer be burdened by life but instead inspired by its infinite possibilities.